What Gift?

Ministry of Silly Walks Watch

A sophisticated yet whimsical timepiece released just in time for Monty Python’s 40th anniversary. The watch features John Cleese as the Minister of Silly Walks. The watch’s hands are Cleese’s legs which change position to tell the time.

Buy the Vuvuzela

Pump up the volume at your event with this Air Horn. A great way to spice up any party and annoy the hell out of friends, family and enemies. A great gift for other people’s kids!

Watch Gandalf VS the Vuvuzela

Everything can be connected to a USB port – we already know that. USB gadgets can be useful, but they are mostly stupid and fun. Here are 5 USB gadgets for your amusement:

#5

USB Mini Aquarium Toy – Make your workspace more soothing and entertaining with this USB mini aquarium. When powered on, the fish swim around. Also has a color-changing LED light, making it useful as a nightlight as well.

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#4

USB Missile Launcher – Who doesn’t need one of those?! Annoy the hell out of your co-workers, as you attack them with foamy missiles!

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#3

Humping Dog USB - Just plug it into an USB port and watch it in action. This spunky mutt will not stop, until you pull him out. Fun, eh?

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#2

Tengu USB Powered Character – Lip Sync Dude Tengu reacts to sounds by animating its seven different LED face expressions, lights up and lip syncs to music, your voice, or whatever noise happens to be around at the time.

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#1

USB Eye Warmer – Sure, it’s very useful. You can keep your eyes WARM with it. Wow.

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The Lunatic Express

Travel and technology journalist Hoffman (Hunting Warbirds) had two motives for penning this tour of the world’s most life-threatening modes of transportation, including trains in India, buses in South America, and trucks in Afghanistan: to expose the “parallel reality,” obscured by the tourism industry, of millions for whom “travel was still a punishing, unpredictable, and sometimes deadly work of travail”; and for thrills.

By the first measure-showing how much of the world gets from place to place-Hoffman is commendably fascinating: his depiction of the horrors people endure just to see family members or get to work is unforgettable.

Unfortunately, Hoffman’s secondary motive dominates much of the ruminating prose, and it’s hard to sympathize with his middle-aged family-man angst when he’s subjecting his teenage daughter to a 24-hour ride across South American mountains in a bus with no bathroom. Elsewhere, a powerful description of the Indian train system segues into a tepid quasi-love affair. Readers with the patience to avoid some self-indulgent side-tracks will find much to reconsider during their next tough commute.

Plush Sushi

When hungry Japanese teddy bears have rumbly tummies their dining options are limited. They could snack on stuffed Hello Kitties or furry Domo Kuns, but that doesn’t make a meal. We’ve offered plush zombies, but the teddy bears rejected these because the undead give them indigestion.

Then we hit on the perfect food for stuffed bears… Plush Sushi! The cuddly texture and cute faces of these oversized sushi have our teddy bears salivating with anticipation. Choose from classic shrimp, tasty tuna, rosy salmon roe, or palate cleansing wasabi and ginger. All are huggable and beg for your love, just buy a few extras if you have a lot of teddy bears in your home.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols

Yes, Christmas is on its way—and all the little boys and ghouls are dreaming of stockings filled with candied eyes and bleeding body parts. You’d better watch out! Santa Claws is coming to town—and he knows who’s been naughty, who’s been naughtier . . . and who’ll taste best with a nice glass of Chianti!

In celebration of this merry macabre season, we present a peerless compendium of more than two dozen of the most soul-stirring, brain-boiling carols composed specifically for the decomposing. Holiday favorites such as “I Saw Mommy Chewing Santa Claus,” “Deck the Halls with Parts of Wally,” and “We Three Spleens” are guaranteed to lift the spirits of the lumbering, shuffling undead and their temporarily still breathing meals-to-be. So put down your gore-splattered baseball bats and raise your voices in song! And sing loudly—to drown out all the screaming.

Click here for Zombie Christmas Carols

More Zombie Gifts!

At first it was kinda funny, now it’s just creepy and weird. They are among us – zombie fanatics. They obsess about zombies all day, play zombie games and weave intricate plans that will save them from the imminent zombie attack. Yes, they are coming for you and all that.

Here are some gift ideas for those who can’t stop thinking about zombies.

Christmas Gifts for the Zombie Obsessed

The Zombie Survival Guide – In this outrageous parody of a survival guide, Saturday Night Live staff writer Brooks prepares humanity for its eventual battle with zombies. One would expect the son of Mel Brooks to have a genetic predisposition to humor, and indeed, he does, and he exhibits it relentlessly here: he outlines virtually every possible zombie-human encounter, drafts detailed plans for defense and attack and outlines past recorded attacks dating from 60,000 B.C. to 2002. In planning for that catastrophic day when “the dead rise,” Brooks urges readers to get to know themselves, their bodies, their weaponry, their surroundings and, just in case, their escape routes.

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Glow In The Dark Zombies Playset – Start your very own glow in the dark zombie apocalypse with these nine glow in the dark Zombies. Be careful, they might eat your head while you sleep.

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Zombie Strippers – Yeah, there’s an XXX flick for you perverts, as well. Not so sure what it contains, exactly, and don’t wanna know, really, but Jenna Jameson stars in it, so I guess you can imagine yourself. Let us know how was the plot, will ya?

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Zombie Devil Duck – Hey, if your zombie-obsessed friend wants THIS in their bathroom, who are we to judge?

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Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry For Your…Brains – What you are looking at is a document from the early days of the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before his infection – only that he was a poet. This facsimile of his actual journal recounts the events of humanity’s darkest hours through the intimate poetry of haiku. Inside you’ll find increasingly disjointed and terrifying three-line poems (all in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure), and follow the undead poet on a journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Experience every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating moment of the eventual downfall of the human race from the point of view of a zombie, and gain insight to help you survive – if you can.

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The Zombie of Montclaire Moors Sculpture – Not for the faint of heart, Dickinson’s life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you’ve ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you’ll swear you can hear him breathing!

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More Christmas Gifts

Seinfeld DVD Game

Experience the humor of Seinfeld in this DVD game that’s filled with clips, trivia questions, puzzlers and every yada yada yada from nine seasons of your favorite comedy.

Whether you want to be master of your domain or to find serenity now, just pop the game disc into your DVD player and stay tuned for a stand-up game of trivia and fun. Scene It? Seinfeld Edition tests your knowledge with real clips from the “show about nothing” as you answer trivia questions and race around the game board to win. Optreve Technology randomizes clips for a different game every time you play.